We all hear people say things like "Oh she's so positive", "Oh he always makes me feel good when I talk to him" "Oh she really understands where I'm coming from" "Oh I'm sure I've known him before, it feels like I've known him a lifetime" "Oh she always makes me see things differently, with a new perspective". We all may know someone like this and wish we were more like them and yet feel its totally out of our reach, as if these people exert some kind of magical power that we just cannot tap into!
So what does it mean then to be positive, to have a positive vibrational energy verses a negative one, can anyone be positive, do we need to train ourselves or does it just come naturally to some and not to others? Increasing your vibrational energy, isnt difficult it just requires you to focus on your thought patterns to see where your thoughts are going and then choosing a different thought, a more positive, constructive, productive n happier thought. Over time this becomes so easy until you can do it almost automatically with ease (although we all have slip ups every now and then - its quite alright).
However if on occasional you lapse, please don't get disheartened if you fall prey to negative thinking the best of us do, even when we live and practice a near perfect lifestyle (whatever that is) we are human and we can get caught unaware, but with practice you can lessen the time these negative thoughts and feelings have an impact on you. If your having negative thoughts and they are playing out like a movie in your mind this can only bring you pain, despair, anger, confusion and upset, something that I've experienced many times throughout my life.
Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment and the more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become and can get a grip of you so fast. Liken this to a snowball rolling down a snowy mountain, the snowball becoming bigger and faster as it rolls and accumulates more snow (negative thoughts). That’s how one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. Equally, a small positive thought can have the same effect, blossoming into a beautiful outcome.
I’d like to share with you an example of how one small thought can turn into a very negative experience.
A woman whos had disastrous relationships lives on her own for years and during that time shes grown accustomed to living in a particular way; she has her own routines with cooking, cleaning and living happily in her own space. Her boyfriend of two years who has shared a long distance relationship with her will soon be moving to where she lives and living together with her. She begins to have negative thoughts of him moving in with her, knowing that her living routine will have to change and that she will have to create a new routine together with her boyfriend.
Jumping into the future like this perpetuated her negative thinking and she convinced herself she would not be able to come up with a living arrangement that would make them both happy. In her mind she had already seen herself getting angry and upset about their cooking and cleaning situation and she wasn't sure she would indeed be able to live with him. She was scared her alone time would be in jeopardy and she wouldnt be able to focus on the things she needed to do any more. She was scared he would maybe try to impose all his routines onto her and she would lose herself again.
As the week progressed she got more and more concerned and when her boyfriend came for a surprise visit, it brought things to a head and they had a miserable weekend together. She did not enjoy his company at all simply because she was already angry with him for things he hadnt even done yet and he was confused and equally frustrated with her. What could have been a really fabulous weekend ended up being a painful, heavy and weary weekend.
This innocent little story shows how when we start to have negative thoughts, it can be very challenging to stop them and it shows the snowball effect on not only yourself but the people around you and the people around them and the people around them.......negative thinking doesn't just end with you if you choose to pass it on....it can pretty soon go around the whole world just from one person thinking negatively. Conversely, it can stop with you, if YOU learn how to control your thought patterns and not only that,YOU can create the beautiful outcome, present, future you wish, desire or crave...........its only a thought away.....
“You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” ~ Stephen Richards
Here are some ways you can master your thought patterns:
1 Smile - If you don't do much of this, take yourself in front of a mirror and force yourself to smile. It really does help, changes your mood and relieves stress and did you know it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown :) it difuses anger in an instant, have you tried staying mad at someone smiling at you :) and it makes other people happy and smile back at you....what other reasons do you need :)
2 Speak YOUR Truth - trust and honour are built on your words, say what you truly feel, don't hide away for fear of the other person not wanting to hear your truth, how you really feel. Your emotions, thoughts and feelings are just as important as anyone else's.
3 Don't take anything personally - we are all on this journey together and we all make mistakes. If someones having a bad day, allow, and if someone says something to you which you could misinterpret for something bad, air on the side of caution and give the benefit of the doubt. Choose to think peaceful thoughts instead of reactive potentially damaging thoughts.
4 Don't make assumptions - don't take everything at face value, ignorance isn't a virtue, strive to continue to learn everyday. Just because someone reminds you of a bad past doesn't mean they are going to repeat it. Just because someone is or acts differently to us doesn't make them wrong, and just because someone isn't travelling on our journey, going in the same way as us, doesn't mean they are going in the wrong direction either.
5 Learn to listen and yes its ok to be sceptical - there will always be people who try to mislead you as there will always be people who try to guide you. Feel in your heart and listen to those who's everyday actions match their words, not necessarily those people who have gone further down the path than you, for they may know all but live non of their words
6 Surround yourself with positive people - or call a friend who you know can give you constructive, yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.
7 Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive - In respect to the girl in the scenario, she could think, 'we may face some challenges but we are capable of coming up with some solutions that suit us both in which we can both live together happily and in peace'.
8 Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility - the way the girl was thinking and acting in the scenario would suggest that she was stuck. In reality however, even if her living situation became unbearable, there would always be a way out, she would always have the choice to make change happen, if needs be.
9 Help someone and take the focus away from yourself - doing something nice for another person, it immediately takes your mind off of things and leaves you feeling better for helping someone else.
10 Move forward, remember, no one is perfect - Its easy to dwell on your mistakes, for example the girl in the scenario above may feel terrible she wasted her weekend being so negative, but no time is truly wasted if something is gained from the experience and we have learned from it and the chances are she wont want to ruin her weekend again!
11 Sing- when we sing we open up our hearts and we show our feelings and this provides an amazing feel good factor as well as being fabulous stress relief Don't get caught up in remembering the lyrics and berate yourself if you get them wrong, remember this is suppose to be fun not homework :)
12 Dance - dance like no ones watching as the famous Mark Twain quote goes. Loosening up your body is a fabulous stress reliever as well as great fun, so while your hovering, mopping and washing the pots get your groove going on :) don't just save it for an organised dance class, dancing is fun to do anywhere, even in the street :)
13 BE Grateful; List five things that you are grateful for right now - being greatful helps you appreciate what you already have and it doesn't have to be big things like new cars, they actually kind of defeat the object, its the small things like; my cats loving and kissing me, my good health, my beautiful children and the way they make me feel happy and childlike, the food on the table, central heating in my home to keep us all warm, the clothes i wear, the friendly smile of the stranger today, the polite and helpful shop assistant, my friends, my family, clean bedding, clean clothes, water to drink, the air that i breath - the shoes on my feet, everything and anything we can be so greatful for. The more greatful we are the more reasons the universe gives us to be greatful.
14 Read positive literature, books and quotes and spend time around positive people - try turning off the TV and read something inspiring, something positive, write in a journal about what your greatful for. Try n not watch the news or read the papers so that everything you encounter in your day is positive. Place post it notes with positive quotes on them on your computer, fridge door, work space, inside your car, mirror etc as reminders to stay positive.
15 BE Proactive not reactive - did you realise that the two words reactive and creative use exactly the same letters and yet mean completely different things.......and come from two completely opposing view points. When you are reactive, according to the dictionary you are acting in response to a situation rather than creating or controlling it: "a proactive rather than a reactive approach". Stand in your positive power and be proactive, create a different outcome.
16 Choose to create not wait - instead of waiting for things to happen, waiting for your prince or princess to come, waiting for your dream job to land in your lap, waiting for th lottery win, waiting for that cute girl or guy to notice you and getting angry and upset in the process of waiting, go out and create what it is you want, stop waiting for things to come to you. When you do this you will see new opportunities opening up to you, people start to notice you, you start to emit at a new frequency and a positive aura surrounds you and things only get better from here. Enjoy your life NOW, stop waiting for the right conditions they may never come.
17 Smile more - my favourite one hehehe smile and the world smiles with you :)
19 BE Happy- "Happiness is only real when shared" don't wait for the perfect moment to be happy, happiness cannot be created, it is a feeling inside us that we choose to feel and choose to share with everyone around us.
20 BE Kind - Perform random acts of kindness to strangers, to your family, friends, loved ones, smile, help them cross the road, carry their shopping, help them find something, spend time talking to them, smile at them, listen to them. This may not seem a lot to you but to someone else it could mean the world
21 BE Compassionate - try to be understanding of the situations other people find themselves in, try and understand how someone else may be feeling, just because you have no reference points to how they are feeling or the situations they find themselves in doesn't make it any the less real, its real to them, doesn't just dismiss it because you doesn't understand it.
"Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion". ~ Buddha
22 BE Love - learn how to both give and receive love to others and yourself. Its so very important to learn how to love yourself first before you can truly know and understand what it is to truly love anything else. When we vibrate at this wonderful frequency of loving ourselves its very apparent to others and they can sense and feel your love for yourself in its purest form and so they know they are safe with you. They know that if you can love yourself then you can also love them and that makes everyone feel at one, happy n contented.
23 BE Forgiving - don'thold on to anger, resentments old wounds, wrong doings, guilt, shame etc.....learn to let it go, forgive yourself and forgive those who hurt you. Anger is like a weapon, the only person it hurts is the person holding onto it......let it go now and rid yourself of all that pain n suffering, feel lighter and free instantly. Don't let it hold you back from the life you so rightly deserve.
I love this quote from Mother Teresa and it sums everything up really, "People are often unreasonable and self-centred. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
24 Release all worry, stress, pain, fear, anger, disapointment, expectation and ego - choose not to hold onto these emotions, thats not to say you havn't got rights to feel them of course you have, feel them, accept them and then release them..please don't hold onto them as they don't serve you in any way.. Don't be confused into thinking that you have to feel these emotions to show you care or show that your bothered about a situation etc, you don't, these emotions don't help you in any way, they only serve to bring your vibration down even lower which allows for more lower energy vibrations to attach to you, i.e. meeting more angry people with sad stories, more disapointment, more pain and more stress. Let it go now and be free. I know some of you may be thinking or feeling right now, "its ok for you, your not in debt or this hasn't happened to you, your not facing eviction, your not about to lose the love of your life, your not ill" etc etc but honestly the situation is irrelevant. If your gonna tackle it with a negative attitude you will most certainly make the situation much worse than it could be. If you choose to be creative and face things head on, look through the eye of the storm, you will almost certainly see a different outcome, you may still lose your house, but you could be offered a better rented property and have more disposable income as a result and the stress of the burden of losing the house will be taken away. You could still lose the supposed love of your life but then through the pain and heartache you have emerged a stronger more beautiful person and are now ready for the real love of your life. Sometimes we dont always see clearly whats ahead for us and we cant often find solutions to our problems and sometimes what we think is the best thing for us isn't always the best thing for us and it doesn't matter how hard we try to keep it, it will still leave us....so in the end all we can do...is let it go...when we let go we open the way for new and brighter opportunities to be presented to us that may just surprise us and exceed all our expectations. The may not be immediate but if you continue to create with a positive mindset you cannot fail to create a brighter more loving, much more happy, peaceful and contented environment and lifestyle for you and everyone around you.
25 Meditate, do yoga or exercise - when you meditate, exercise, do yoga, tai chi whatever takes your fancy, it takes you away from yourself and allows you to focus on the exercise at hand. It allows you to focus on your breath, it takes you away from your thoughts stresses you while allowing you to stay present.
26 SMILE some more :) - theres never any reason not to smile......so keep on SMILING...it looks good on you :)
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Thanks for visiting and have a lovely day :)
"Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.....”