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Day 1 of my Sexual Attack Court Case

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Day 1 of my Sexual Attack Court Case

This is DAY 1 of My Sexual Attack Court Case
 
Ive decided to share this current rather personal story/journey of mine with you all for one reason only........to expose the 'TRUTH'.......
 
Today is the first day of a lengthy court case against mine n other girls rapist/sexual attacker/abuser...its been 2 years coming to trail and a false start last year after gearing up ready for it to fall on the first day of court when evidence of 3 new girls presented itself........so now it goes forward...........although im not expected to be there every day i am giving evidence this week and as tough and as strong as i am......i am human and again although i know i have done nothing wrong..........im emotional, anxious, dipping in confidence and just cant sleep.......been up all night again, its now 6.20 and my daughter will be up soon.. ..i'm trying not to think, but my subconcious is telling me otherwise......so i write....i write to get rid of the the thoughts and feelings going round in my head.....knowing these thoughts on this subject will one day form part of my completed book 'The Truth Seeker' but for now they are just my thoughts n feelings on this first day of court...
 
I wonder how many people have been through similar things and they too thought being strong was the best way forward.....everyone tells you to be strong....but sometimes being strong can hide away your deepest feelings until you dont know what your feelings are anymore.......you pretend you are fine that it doesnt bother you, your strong right, nothing can get to you!....sometimes you think you have dealt with all of them only for them to resurface again in the form of trust issues when someone wants to get close to you....you find yourself pushing people away but you dont know why.......when all you really want is to receive love......you think you are healed until this surfaces again and you realise healing takes time and that if you need to cry...........cry....if you need to shout........then shout.....if you need to scream...then bloody well  scream.............there is no right or wrong answer to coping with this sort of thing......and im not neive enough to deny that because of this i've somehow changed...that, i know for sure!.....but one thing remains in me that will be forever in my debt...........and that is my infectious spirit............yes im feeling emotional, quiet, reserved n anxious right now....but they are understandable responses to stress..........all i have to do is allow for them and acknowledge them.......i do not hide them or hide from them or pretend that they do not exhist for that wouldnt be healing that would be merely painting over the cracks..........and im no painter and decorator.........to be continued.....

1 Comment to Day 1 of my Sexual Attack Court Case:

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xytomax reviews on 16 January 2014 22:32
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